Wild thoughts.
This few days were like hell for me.I'hv been thinking non-stop sometimes I do have the thought of letting go but I haven't got enough courage to do so.I always tell myself that I have been great to come this far,I'm proud to hold on till now because of his absences all this while.When I need him,he wasn't there.I do compare,do envy,felt unfair,insecure & wild thoughts.I nearly burst out of tears when pouring out everything to darling.Why other ppl's boyfriend can be with them all the time but mine have to keep going oversea for weeks,why am I the one that have to wait all the time,what am I waiting for,is he the one I'm going to spend my life with I don't want to waste time on the wrong person,why cant he think for me & ask me what I want?Whenever he did something against my wish I feel so upset this thoughts will then flash through my mind.My heartaches,my eye tears,my throat hurts & I kept asking myself why,why & why must I made myself into this state? Sometimes,I do wonder if he feel guilty or bad,trying to treat me better,make me love.

He just gave me a text & this text from him came just in time.Whenever I feel like giving up already he never fail to give me a pull,creating another chance. :')